


Player Hater

by HinaSaku



Category: Naruto
Genre: Character Bashing, Humor, Male-Female Friendship, Mary Sue, One-Sided Attraction, Original Character(s), Out of Character, Parody, Plot Twists, Teamwork, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 13:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9125092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HinaSaku/pseuds/HinaSaku
Summary: After getting a new member on the team, Sakura finds herself with a powerful new opponent to rival for Sasuke's affections. Meanwhile Naruto is pretty mad over the fact that he was the one booted off the team and tries to get his spot back. With common goals in mind, Naruto and Sakura team up to bring the new threat down. OOC and Character bashing. Parody-Sue fanfic rules inside.





	1. Replaced

**Author's Note:**

> My parody Mary Sue story I was going to have my "Parodies Galore" fanfic, but decided to make it into a full blown story instead. See rules for Mary Sue challenge I'm following at the bottom.

Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura were just sitting around doing nothing. No, I'm lying. Sasuke was the one sitting looking fresher than a motha fucka on a bench that was struggling to uphold the sexiness that was one of the two last remaining Uchiha's. Sakura was being her usual bitchy self because Naruto had just made a good point about why he called Sasuke a bastard, but Sakura's code of love demanded she stick up for "her" man. Unknown to her (even though it was pretty fucking obvious), Sasuke didn't fuck with pink haired 5 headed whores especially ones named after flowers.

"Aye yo, dumb asses!" Kakashi poofed in front of the three children. "I said AYE YO!"

"You forgot dumb asses," Sasuke reminded him while he studied his freshly manicured nails.

"Thanks, smart ass!" He said rolling his eyes. Sakura ignored them and continued to beat the shit outta Naruto. Kakashi, not giving a shit about Sakura's violence as usual, cleared his voice. "Anyways, Naruto, your ass is getting replaced."

"The fuck? OW!" He cried out as Sakura punched him in the stomach. "W-why?"

"Plot I mean uh my niece wants to be a ninja and since your ugly ass is KO-ing all the time, fuck outta here."

"Uh what?"

"Let me put it in terms you'll understand better," sighed Kakashi. "You're always getting your butt kicked, so you're getting replaced on the team until you hone your abilities more at the academy."

"WHAT?!"

"Makes sense with Naruto being the clumsy fool he is." said Sakura nodded as she crossed her arms. _**'CHA! That's what I'm talking about! Now that he's outta the way, he's not blocking me from getting with Sasuke! See ya loser!'**_

Naruto was shocked this was happening to him. He was being sent back to the academy to learn more while some girl replaced him! Even worse, Sakura didn't even look upset about it! Made sense Sasuke wouldn't care because he was a prick and was always calling _someone_ an idiot. He begged Kakashi to let him stay, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. He even groveled and as much as the jounin enjoyed it, he couldn't do it. The girl in question wasn't even his niece as he didn't even have a fucking brother or sister. She was holding his dogs hostage until she achieved her ultimate goal: getting some of that Uchiha ass. He wasn't going to give them any heads up about it and the only one he could save from the girl's wrath was Naruto.

"Sorry, but my mind's made up," said Kakashi in a 'that's final' voice. 'Trust me. I'm doing you a favor! You'll thank me later, I assure you. Consider yourself lucky you're not Sasuke or Sakura.'

"Kakashi, you suck butt!" Naruto tried saying a hearftful good-bye with the promise to be back, but Sakura was already rubbing up against Sasuke and telling him how good it was being alone with him. "Uh I'm still here."

"Don't you have a class to get to?" Naruto called Sakura a bitch and took off running before another ass kicking could go down.

* * *

 

Bella, the beyond beautiful girl that would take 30 or more paragraphs to describe but the author was too lazy to do so, couldn't wait to meet her new team mates. She didn't think she was good enough to join any kind of ninja squad. However her uncle managed to convince her otherwise.

_"You'd be perfect for the squad!" squealed her uncle like a stereotypical teenage girl. "Like OMG, girlfriend! Go for it!"_

_"R-really?" She blushed. She didn't think she was good enough to be on a squad with her uncle's group seeing as they had one of the Uchiha Clan. Surely he lived up to his family's name and his team mates were just as good or at least almost as good._

_"For sure!" He grinned._

_"But you can only have **3** students in a squad," she pointed out. "Besides, they've spent so much time together, a newcomer might be greeted with some hostility even if you can have an extra."_

_"Oh don't worry about that," said her uncle with a wave of his hand. "The person you're replacing is a total ninny and needs more training. I honestly think they let him graduate because they wanted to get rid of his annoying ass."_

_"I still don't know..." She sighed still debating on if she truly wanted to go through with this. On one hand they might not like her, but on the other hand she gets to work with Sasuke Uchiha! Imagine the things she'd learn from him!_

_"Just do it!" said Kakashi perfectly imitating the guy who made that saying popular._

_"If you insist uncle Kaka."_

"I do hope I'm not late!" She said to herself as she gracefully ran towards the train fields. When she arrived, she was nearly blinded by the sexy beast himself. Gai was doing some blinded folded karate kicks and kicked her in the face, his foot hitting over of her eyes.

"What did I hit?" Gai took off his blind fold and immediately got knocked on his right ass cheek.

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, FAGGOT!" yelled Bella. "I'm walking here!"

"I'm sorry! I..."

"Do that again and I'll whoop your ass!" With that, she walked away furious. Stupid spandex wearing, bowl headed clown! After that moment, she made sure to keep an eye out for any other idiots roaming the fields.

After that pointless bit of the author hating on...I mean that bit of interaction with her uncle's rival, she finally found her team, only recognizing them because of her uncle standing nearby and them being around her age. Taking a deep breath, she nervously walked over to the team and gave them a shy smile.

"Um h-hello," She stammered. Sasuke just gave her a blink stare while Sakura looked her up and down unamused with what she was seeing. Of all the people to be on her team, why this bitch? Knowing good and well that unless she was a lesbian or asexual, any girl was a threat to the young teen and her love for the Uchiha.

"Hello," Sakura responded in a hostile tone as she put her hands on her hips. "And you are?"

"I-I'm the new squad mate!" she said noting the way Sakura looked at her. 'Did I do something?'

"You don't look like much," said Sakura narrowing her eyes at her.

"And neither does your chest,Flatzilla, " said Kakashi. "Now stop sipping on that haterade and be nice. I won't have you cat fighting without Naruto being here to bet on which one of you will lose or get a double knock out as well as a popcorn machine being on standby!"

"You have no room to be judging my chest, you perverted creep!" blushed Sakura taking great offense to her chest being insulted.

"Whatever, Sakura," he said rolling his eyes at her. "Now introduce yourself to Bella."

"Bella?" Sakura snorted. "Do you even japanese?"

"Say that again and I'll kick your ass," said Kakashi more irked by the phrase than her tone though it was pretty close in the running. "Anyways, go on. Sakura, you go first and stop the hating."

"Fine," she cleared her throat. "My name is Haruno Sakura and **_I'm_** the star girl on this team. I kick ass and take names and if you mess me, you're finished! What I like is..." Here her eyes darted over to Sasuke. "And my dreams for the future are..." She looked over at Sasuke _**again**_. "And what I hate is Naruto and people who get in the way of love!"

"That was pretty mean," said Bella. "What has he ever done to you?"

"He's an idiot! He always gets in the way and..."

"He trains more than you," pointed out Sasuke. "And I seem to remember him saving you a couple of times and cheering you on. As a matter of fact, he was the **_only_ ** one cheering you on."

"Uh well I um..."

"ANYWAYS onto you, Sasuke," interrupted Kakashi.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke and what I like is..." He paused for a minute. "And what I hate is..." Another unneeded pause. "What I want to do in the future is be the very best. The best there ever was!"

Before Sasuke could sing the Pokemon theme song, the pink haired ninja interrupted him. "Oh, Sasuke! You **_are_ ** the best!" She exclaimed as she rubbed on him.

"Get off me," he said through gritted teeth. She ignored him and continued to do so until Kakashi pulled her off of him.

"Bella, introduce yourself," said Kakashi as he held Sakura away from her crush.

"I'm Bella Hatake and..."

"It's _supposed_ to be Hatake, Bella!" corrected Sakura.

"Did anyone tell your small titted ass to talk?!" snapped Kakashi.

"DON'T CALL ME...OW!" He had given her a hard pinch or at least that was what Sakura thought. Sasuke was the one who did it out of annoyance.

"U-um I uh..."

"Spit it out! OUCH! Stop doing that!"

"Shut the hell up then!" barked both males though in Sakura's brain it was just Kakashi.

"A-anyways," said Bella getting back to her life's story. "I like long walks, training, thinking about my dead clan, and I want to seek out the piggy faced bastard who did it! The only thing I know about him is that his name is Itachi."

This caught Sasuke's attention real quick. "Itachi..."

'So we have a common enemy,' he thought. 'I'm getting to him first though. Fuck sharing the kill! I kill alone!'

"Itachi?" said Sakura raising a brow at this. "You mean weasel?"

"He is a weasel in a metaphorically sense but it is its meaning."

"No shit, moron!" said Sakura.

"'Stop being such a cow, Sakura!" said Kakashi. "Now, let's get to training! First off, Sakura go work on your shield."

"Shield?"

"Yeah, your 5-head can handle a lot. If you learn to expand it a bit bigger than what it is, you can shield more than two of us!"

"Bite me!" She retorted. _**'You think you're so funny, don't you? Keep talking that way and you'll know what true pain is, cha!'**_

"Fine. Then train with Bella," he said gesturing to the girl.

"Don't you think I would be better off training with Sasuke-kun?" she asked looking over at the Uchiha who was still staring off into space.

"Given that Sasuke's not even on your level and you and Bella are, you can bounce off each other and help each other."

"But it would be better to learn from someone higher."

"BUT Sasuke needs to train to get stronger, not weaker," Here Sakura glared at him and started to say that she wasn't, but he didn't allow her to do so. "I'll train with Sasuke. You work on whatever it is you do."

"But...!"

"Butts are for sitting, now run your little pink headed ass off somewhere."

Sakura mumbled underneath her breath and stormed off with Bella having to jog to catch up with her. When they had gone a ways off, Sakura told her to throw a punch. When the raven haired girl threw one, Sakura shook her head. "What?"

"You're doing it all wrong!" She exclaimed. "If you can't even punch the right way, how can you be a kunoichi?"

"I-I'm sorry," apologized Bella.

"Hm. Come on. Lemme show you," She threw a couple of punches. "Like that. Copy me."

Bella tried her best to imitate the other ninja, but she failed every time. Sakura made her do multiple punching drills until Sasuke told her it was time to go home. "Oh thank Kami-sama!" Bella said relieved.

Sasuke didn't say anything and just walked away. Sakura walked past her and bumped into her before walking off after Sasuke, asking him if he wanted to hang out to which he replied for her to go away. Bella glared at her as she ran off with Sasuke. Sakura wanted to be a bitch. Fine then. Two could easily play that game. She **_was_ ** going to allow Miss Pinky the privilege of not getting her feelings hurt, but now it was on.


	2. Team Up

Naruto was beyond pissed about him being booted off the team. How dare Kakashi do that shit to him! If anything, Sakura's lovestruck ass needed to be sent back since she was the useless one, not him! He bet Sasuke was sitting there laughing behind his back with the others. It made him rage with fury (duh) and made him want to find out who this replacement was. Sadly he was stuck in class with a bunch of little kids who constantly teased him for standing out. Nothing new of course. However this time it was the fact that he was a big enough loser enough to be sent back to the academy. Iruka didn't mind it...well he wouldn't have if Naruto didn't complain every chance he got. He was thinking of transferring him so he wouldn't hear his whining, but then Kakashi asked him to keep an eye on the boy because of his situation.

"And who was the 4th Hokage?" asked Iruka. Naruto raised his hand. "Naruto?"

"Well 4th hokage isn't Kakashi because unlike him, he isn't a complete and utter faggot!"

"Naruto!" He shouted at him while the class giggled.

"Fine. It's Minato," he answered correctly.

"See me after class!"

"The only thing you'll be seeing is my ass peeking out of the dusk I'll be leaving behind," said Naruto rolling his eyes.

"Disrespectful little..." he mumbled under his breath. Class went on as usual with Naruto making smart remarks from Naruto and a few people who dared to imitate him. When class got out, Naruto went out the window while his little followers got stopped before they could head out the door.

Free from trouble until tomorrow, he went off to eat at the BBQ place though where he really wanted to go to was his favorite place in the whole village. If he did, he knew Iruka would be there waiting for him. Naruto may be dimwitted sometimes, but he wasn't completely stupid. Give him some credit. He was middle of looking over the menu when he heard someone plop down in the seat across from him. He felt his heart beating faster terrified that it was Iruka, but luckily it was just Sakura of all people.

"S-sakura!" he exclaimed. "Why are..."

"Ugh! I hate that bitch!" said Sakura as she snatch the menu from him to look over it herself.

"Uh who?"

"The new girl! She obviously has the hots for my Sasuke!"

"What makes you say that?"

"I see the way she looks at him!" She stated as if it were obvious. Of course Naruto had never seen the girl before so he wouldn't know for sure, but given how most females reacted to the Uchiha, he wasn't surprised. "She wants him and she can't have him!"

"Oh," Was his only reaction.

"Oh? OH? OH?!" She said loudly drawing attention. She grabbed him by the collar. "My love life on the line so don't "Oh." me, Naruto!"

"S-sorry!" He apologized not wanting her to hurt him.

"You'd damn well better be!" She let him go and sat back. "And do you know what she did to my hair?"

"Your hair?" He now noticed how her hair was hiding underneath a green head rag. "Did she cut it?"

"She did this!" She ripped off her head rag and revealed that her hair was now dark dark blue. "That bitch switched out my shampoo!"

"How do you know it was her? It could have been Ino," Of all the people who seemed like they would do this, it was Ino given their constant battle for Sasuke's affections and she did have automatic access to her home. When Naruto voiced this, Sakura looked as if she wanted to voice some sort of argument, but couldn't think of anything else to say.

"I still think it was her," she said stubbornly. "Ino would have been bragging about it."

"Maybe she's avoiding a fight."

"Whatever," She shook her head as the waitress walked up.

"Can I take your order?" she asked. Naruto and Sakura ordered their food and went back to their conversation.

"So how are we gonna get rid of her?" asked Sakura.

"What makes you think I wanna get rid of her?"

"Do you want to stay in the academy for Kami-sama knows how long?" she asked raising a brow. She had a point, so Naruto agreed to rid of her, but how the hell were they going to accomplish that? Kakashi would do anything to protect his niece or at least that's what they were thinking he would do since that was his family. They had to be sneaky or else they'd both get booted off the team. They had to be careful and use their combined traits to get rid of her.


	3. Voices and Choices

Sasuke was in the middle of relaxing on a bench when he heard an angelic voice that sounded suspiciously like his mom's voice but enhanced. Sitting up, he went over to the voice calling out his name. Who was that unless...

''Could it really be her?" Sasuke asked himself as he made his way into the forest, kunai in hand.

It had been years since he had heard his mother's voice and hearing it so clearly again brought back warm and fuzzy feelings as well as memories of a better time. Could it be her alive or a ghost coming to comfort/confront him? Or maybe it was some sneaky bastard who was using his dead mother's voice to lure him away from anybody nearby. If that was the case, they were getting ripped a new one. When he got closer to it, he felt himself gripping it tighter in his hand. Pushing back the bushes, it revealed was his new team mate scribbling in her diary only to look up when he came out of the bushes.

"O-oh! Hello, Sasuke!" She blushed as she shyly smiled at the Uchiha.

"Ella," He said quietly as he tried hearing the voice again. To his disappointment, he wasn't hearing the voice anymore. What was that? Did he really hear his mother or was it all in his head? Was he finally going insane?

Meanwhile Bella was blushing even harder before. He had just called her Ella! A few days on the squad and he had come around to giving her a nickname. She nearly squealed for pure joy, but settled for it being in her head. Little did she know that Sasuke barely knew her name and would be giving her "nicknames" for the rest of the time.

"Did you hear that?" He asked her.

"H-hear what?"

"A voice," He said hoping he wasn't the only one who heard it.

"A voice? No."

'Great. I'm going insane,' He grumbled in his thoughts. 'Thanks for that, Itachi!'

"So um are you uh d-doing anything?" She asked still red. She was trying her best to summon up the strength to ask out Sasuke, but there was still that lingering fear he would say no to her. She was partly hoping he'd tell her he was busy and move on. Considering what Sakura told her about Sasuke, she knew there was a high chance he would reject her. Then again Sakura didn't even like her so maybe she should take what she says with a grain of salt.

* * *

 

_"Um S-sakura?" asked Bella playing with her fingers like a certain shy ninja while Sakura was throwing kunai at the target. She knew Sakura didn't like her, but given how she had been on the team for a long time with Sasuke, she was the only one she could ask. She could have asked their previous team mate but she didn't even know who he was._

_"What, non-Japanese Baka-chan?" said Sakura still concentrating on the target while using the nickname she had made up for the dark haired teen. Bella had asked her numerous times not to call her that, but the only child did whatever the fuck she wanted to do._

_"C-could you...never mind," She sighed. Why did she even try? "A-anyways, I-I wanted to talk to you a-about Sasuke."_

_"What about him?"_

_"I uh um..."_

_"Spit it out already, NJ Baka-chan!" She said throwing a particular one deeper than the others causing her to gulp for some reason. The kunoichi wasn't going to hit her with any of those...would she?_

_"I-I wanna know if Sasuke...if he um h-has a girlfriend?"_

_"No he doesn't and don't even think about asking him out."_

_"Why?" At first she thought Sakura was going to threaten her, but she didn't._

_"Few have tried and all have failed, that's why," She said bitterly, which indicated that she had been one of the few who did so and got turned down._

_"Oh."_

_"So yeah. Unless you want your heart broken, don't even think about it," As much as Bella wanted to believe that Sakura was giving her some tough love out of the kindness of her heart, it wasn't the case and they both knew it. Sakura constantly told her not to "get that pretty little face messed up" which told her she thought she was pretty and that's probably why she said this. Given that she was attractive, Sakura was intimated by her and thought Sasuke would say yes to her._

_"I-it wouldn't hurt to try...would it?"_

_"I dunno," She turned around to face the ninja while holding her weapon menacingly accompanied by the fact that she had an evil smile on her face. "Would it?"_

_"O-on second thought you're right!" She said terrified. "S-sasuke is clearly unattainable."_

_"Damn right he is," She said turning back to the target._

* * *

"Not anymore," He sighed. Maybe it was for the better that he didn't see who sounded like his mother or that he would have probably ended up looking for her for hours on end.

"Oh!" It was now or never. "W-well do you wanna go get some uh tomatoes?"

"Tomatoes?" Sasuke said raising his eyebrows. That was his favorite food, but it was an odd it was just something like dango or BBQ, but it was an odd choice. He wasn't going to turn it down though. He needed to get some anyways. He was out though he didn't remember ever eating that many. "I suppose so."

"R-really?"

"I need some anyways," He shrugged. "Come on. I need to make dinner."

"I could make you something like onigiri?"

"Onigiri?"

"Yeah. I'm a bit of an addict when it come to riceballs," She blushed (had she ever really stopped?) as she played with her fingers once more. "The only thing I love more is tomatoes. I know I'm a bit of a freak for it but..."

'I thought I was the only one,' thought Sasuke.

"I used to eat them all the time with my big brother," she said with a depressed voice.

' _I_ used to eat them _my_ older brother,' This was starting to get creepy. No, he had to be over thinking it. People liked those things and plenty of people had older brothers, not just him. If she hated sweets and soybeans, that's when it was going to get creepy.  ** _REALLY_** creepy.

"We should get going before the market closes," She said bringing the Uchiha out of his thoughts.

"Oh right," The two went off to the market together.

* * *

"...and then we cover her house with toilet paper!" grinned Naruto as he rubbed together his hands evilly. He and Sakura were coming up with ways to get her kicked off the team. Naruto suggested that they spray paint "Kakashi is a faggot and Bella is a boss" on the academy and then toilet paper Kakashi's house.

" How would we even get away with that?" asked Sakura trying to think this out logically. "If we buy spray paint, it would be traced back to us since you would have a reason to do that."

"And so do you," pointed out Naruto.

"Me?"

"Yeah _you_! You **know** you like Sasuke and another girl would be a threat to you!"

"Ha! Yeah right!" She poked her chest out while she had a confident smirk on her face. "As awful as she is, no way could she be a threat to me! I mean look at me! I have 3 boys who like me and I don't see anybody drooling over her."

Naruto didn't believe a word she just said as he knew her too well. As a matter of fact, Sakura was worried and did consider her a threat. Sure Sasuke never paid her any attention, but given how pretty Bella was, she feared the Uchiha might not be able to resist her beauty and go out with her if Bella asked. Sasuke had always been shy with his emotions, but Bella may be able to get him to go out with her just by asking.

"Well your threat just became a promise that came true," said Naruto as his eyes widened.

"Huh?" She looked where Naruto was looking and spotted Sasuke and Bella outside eating riceballs at a resturant. Sakura screamed in horror before dropping down to her knees while pulling on her hair. Sasuke never went eating with her and flat out refused unless it as all three or four of them. Even then it wasn't too often. Now he was sitting with that girl! "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

"S-sakura-chan, calm down," whispered Naruto. "You're embarrassing us."

Everyone in that area was staring at her hard even Sasuke. Sakura turned red, got up, and stormed off the opposite way with Naruto right behind her. Were they on a date or was it just Sasuke being nice? It was more hard for her to believe that Sasuke was just being nice. When she asked, she always got turned down. What made her special because having great hair, a beautiful face, and being Kakashi's niece. If Sasuke had feelings for her, she'd be crushed.

"Sakura, are you...?" began Naruto.

"Let's get that spray paint."

"Are you sure?"

"More than ever."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.


	4. Failed Plan

After spray painting Kakashi's house, the two of them high-fived each other before running off giggling. They had both written pretty nasty things on the wall and couldn't wait for Kakashi to see it. This would get Naruto back on the team for sure. Even though she did harp on Naruto a lot, she would much rather have him on the team than her. At Naruto wasn't trying to romance Sasuke.

When they found their sensei, he was waving goodbye at Iruka. The blonde ninja pulled on his sensei's shirt. "Kakashi-sensei! Kakashi-sensei! You need to come quick!"

"Stop pulling on my shirt, Naruto! You have my attention!" He said swatting away at him. "What do you want?"

"It's your house!" said Sakura. "Someone vandalized your house!"

"How?"

"You have to see it for yourself!" Kakashi took off running after them as they took him to his house. It's like he doesn't know where he lives.

Both ninjas had to hide their snickers as Kakashi looked up at his home and began reading the writing on the walls.

_A Bugger Brian lives here_

_Bigfoot_

_Ugly_

_Brainless_

_Bella is awesome and Kakashi sucks!_

_Garlic Breath!_

_Little Penis_

_Smelly_ (Underneath it was a drawing of Kakashi with wavy lines coming from him)

"I goes before a," Kakashi looked down at the pair.

"Tell that to your niece," said Naruto. "She's the one who wrote it."

"How dumb do you two think I am?" He shook his head. "I know you two wrote it."

"No we didn't!" lied Naruto. "Why would we draw on your wall? We love you!"

"Just like you'll love scrubbing this shit off my walls. I know your handwriting. _Both_ of your handwriting. Besides, you both have a reason to have done it. Sakura thinks Bella is a threat between her and Sasuke and Naruto is made he's at school again. Go get something to wash my walls, fools!" With that he walked off.

Sakura punched her team mate on the arm. "Ow! What was that for?"

"You idiot! I knew it wouldn't work! I just knew it!"

"If I'm an idiot, so are you! You went along with it."

Sakura just clinched her fists in anger. She couldn't believe it didn't work. Damn that girl! She felt like screaming in anger as the two of went to get items to wash the graffiti off the walls. They needed to think of something else. Something that couldn't be traced back to them. Aha! She had it. She turned to Naruto.

"Naruto, I just got an idea!" said Sakura grinning deviously.

"What is it?"

"Does Jiriaya have a copy of one of his books lying around his place?"

"I don't know. He should considering it's his book. Why do you want to read that?"

"I don't want to, but I know someone who does." She grinned.

"I think Kakashi-sensei already has all the books."

"But does he have the newest one he's writing?"

"OH! I get it!" He grinned. "You wanna slip him a new copy in exchange for him getting rid of Bella!"

"Yes! I was going to suggest getting Kakashi's book from him, but that might be a little too hard for us. If we get him a brand new book from Jiriaya..."

"...he'll do anything to get his hands on it!"

"Yeah! Just see if he's done with the newest book and if not, just take a couple of pages."

"Genuis!" Suddenly Naruto frowned. "Wait how are we gonna get the book or the pages from him? He's a legendary sannin after all."

Sakura thought for a second. "Okay. Here's what we'll do. You distract him with your sexy justu by looking like a beautiful woman. The type that he likes. Take him somewhere far off and I'll look around his room for any pages or a book."

"How will I be able to tell you when he's coming back?"

"We'll use radios. I have some at my house from when Dad gave them to me."

"Why do you have radios?"

"I used to play with them with my dad and Ino sometimes when I was little."

"Great! When should we do this?"

"After we clean up Kakashi's house." After they got some cleaning supplies, they quickly cleaned up the mess and made for Jiraiya's house. Once they were there, Naruto turned into a busty blonde woman with a short skirt and shirt that exposed a lot of his chest. Sakura hid behind the man's trashcan and waited. This plan had to work. There was no way Jiraiya would pass up a beautiful young woman.

"I-I had a great time, Sasuke," said Bella blushing as they left the restaurant.

"Hm," was his only reply. Bella frowned at Sasuke's lack of words and emotion. Maybe he just needed to be prodded into talking.

"So do you want to maybe do something else later?" Sasuke didn't answer her as he turned left. She quickly took off after him and had to practically run to catch up with him as he was walking pretty fast. "Hey slow down!"

He still ignored her. Bella pouted and tried talking a bit about herself but Sasuke didn't care. As a matter of fact, he heard her and wished she would go away. He wanted to get home to catch some TV. but this girl wouldn't stop following him. She just kept babbling about her uncle. He never thought he'd say it but even Sakura and Naruto combined wouldn't talk his ear off like she was. He turned around and nearly made her bump into him.

"Stop following me," Sasuke said crossing his arms. "Go home."

"B-but I thought..." Sasuke walked off without trying to hear what she said. Just then Ino popped up. She grinned when she saw him.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun!" She headed his way. She couldn't help but to notice he was all alone and thus gave her a chance to talk to him. She took a quick look around for Sakura as she headed over to the Uchiha. Butting heads with the shorter female always caused Sasuke to walk off and she knew he didn't want to hear their squabbling and she herself didn't want to argue with her. If only she would just give up already and realized Sasuke preferred her.

"Ino," Great. Another person to keep him from his show.

"I couldn't help but to see that you don't have your team with you. Since you don't have them around, wanna go catch a movie with me?"

"A-actually I'm here," said Bella stepping from behind the Uchiha and waved at her.

"Who are you?" Ino frowned at her.

"I'm part of Sasuke's team now."

"What?" Ino sent Sasuke a confused look. "Is this for some kind of team mission?"

"No. Naruto got sent back to the Academy and she's his replacement." explained Sasuke.

"You can do that? Huh." She looked over the dark haired teen. She instantly felt jealous. She was very pretty and she was with Sasuke. She quickly told herself that he was just showing her around the village and not on a date while Sakura had to do something for her mom. Yeah that sounded right. "So you still wanna see the movie after you show her around."

"Actually we were just having lunch today." Ino's eye twitched.

"Lunch?"

"And now I have to go home. Good bye." He said the last part directly to Bella and quickly walked off.

Just as she was about to go after him, Ino stepped into her path. "I don't know who you think you are, but Sasuke is mine, got it?"

Bella blinked in surprise and didn't even get the time to say anything as Ino ran after Sasuke. She would give Sakura the credit that she didn't say that right to her face that she didn't want her having Sasuke. Ino had flat out just said it. Given how handsome Sasuke was, she wondered how many other girls would make the same attempts to date Sasuke and even threaten and fight each other over him. Either way she was prepared for all of them. She was going to get with Sasuke whether anyone liked it or not.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone who doesn't like the MS is an asshole and will be portrayed as such. Hell if you even so much as accidentally bump into that bitch, you're done for especially if she's after your best friend, boyfriend, brother, mother, father, friend, or any one of any relation or anyone close to you in any way. Most of the people who dislike MS are the people from the series the author hates/dislikes. Only the people the author loves/likes/feels neutral towards are spared…sometimes- Hinata getting bashed the shit out of her just for getting with her and not her favorite character.
> 
> Unusual appendages such as wings or tails- MS not only has a cat tail but also wings.
> 
> Ability to master anything with ease- OC can easily master the most complicated of jutsu in an hour or less.
> 
> Ability to make every character instantly love them- MS gets Gaara to fall in love with her even though he hasn't even seen her. He's only heard of her. Even the most dedicated of lovers fall for her and will instantly leave her at the drop of a hat if she wants them.
> 
> Same ethnicity as the author or ethnicity/race/species/mixture of species that the author wishes she was- Uh I've nothing.
> 
> Babies r' Us Sue- Mary Sues simply hook up with one of the main characters of the opposite sex (and in some cases of the same sex) and have kids. Often times, these Sues have more than one boyfriend so they get into messes such as trying to figure out if Hinata, Neji, Temari, or Goku is the father of their child or children. Yes I do realize two of the people I listed are girls and one isn't even in the same universe as the other three. Usually the woman/girl doesn't get called a whore except by the characters who hate her. She usually ends up breaking up with the other guy or guys and they take it REALLY bad. Even if the bitch gave them an STD from cheating on them they still want them back.
> 
> Boobs: MS has got to have bigger boobs than anyone in the whole series- The MS's boobs are WAY bigger than Tsunade and Naga from Slayer and any other big boobed woman in any anime, cartoon, or live action show or movie.
> 
> Dark Past- AKA Harry Potter combined with all the bad shit in Gaara, Naruto, Itachi, and Sasuke's past mixed in with a little more murder, rape, kidnapping, and almost dying more than once, but somehow living without a good explanation besides luck.
> 
> Little Miss Super Goddess: MS is just born all-powerful and you have to accept it. They are always immortal or if they aren't, but they can't die like a normal person. Plus she has over 9000 super powers but no weaknesses. She can't be beat. A punch that nearly kills a character, barely even leaves a scratch on her. Her downfalls are only in flashbacks. Any present downfalls? AHAHAHAHAHAHAAA…stop yo shit, kid.
> 
> Jealous Bruh?: Everyone is jealous of this MS character. They all wanna be her or bang her…or both- Sakura and Hinata are tots jelly cuz MS has bigger boobs than them and Neji is paying more attention to her than them even when both girls get their asses handed to them IN FRONT OF HIM AND HE DOESN'T CARE!
> 
> home-wrecker- Married? Got a girlfriend? Well MS doesn't give a shit. She'll take your man and your friends if you don't willingly give him over…or die first-
> 
> BFFs…after 5 seconds- For some reason, MS has the power to have characters become her best friends within seconds. That or they'll want to see her again soon because they miss her despite only speaking to her for only 4 seconds, although it feels like they've known each other for years.
> 
> Daughter of (insert main/minor canon character[s] here)- Mary Sue is the daughter of certain characters within the canon show. It can either be one minor or major character or two. Hell if they can fuse like they can in DBZ and Steven Universe, it can be up to 5 parents or four in DBZ's case. The parents are usually either an OC x canon character or canon character x another canon characters. It's super rare if the Mary Sue is the daughter of two normal OCs. The parents also include characters that the person doesn't want to have sex with/get with in the story. In this story she's the relative of someone...or is she!?


End file.
